You’re out, in a place where groups of humans can be found, some of which are females, a handful of said females attract your attention, you want to begin talking to said girls in hopes to explore a meaningful relationship – but you’re too scared to approach, what do you do?
Before I begin, I just want to say that the ways in which to approach a group of girls stated in this article are by no means fool proof, and it pays to remember that the opinion of one girl shouldn’t impact your perception of yourself, so take them off the pedestal, take action, learn from your mistakes and improve!
1. Cold Approach
This is the most basic, yet most challenging style of approach. Obvious benefits include complete control over how it goes, lessons learnt, no one to compete with and if you’re a fan of the spotlight, then this is for you. With the cold approach comes multiple ways to make it a bit easier for yourself. I will give you one way that works best in a group situation and will take the focus away from you, allow the group to talk amongst themselves about something you have instigated and in turn, make you less threatening as a potential suitor.
1. Approach the group with a smile and relaxed body language
2. Excuse yourself for possibly interrupting
3. Announce that you only need a moment of their time (one minute to be exact)
Why? Because one of a girl’s biggest fears is having someone approach them with no idea as to how long they will stick around; so make it clear straight away. This is called a false time constraint and should buy you a few minutes of their attention, it is then up to you to maximise this time.
4. Ask for their opinion on something that they can all discuss/debate
Example: (Holding up your phone) – I have just gotten off the phone with my brother who is buying a dress for his girlfriend, but he doesn’t know her size, he wants to know what’s worse, too big or too small – what do you girls think?
5. Allow the girls to debate the matter and add in relevant points where needed
6. If they are laughing and chatting amongst themselves, take this is an indicator of interest (IOI) and continue with next routine/question.
This method has the greatest chance of success, not only during the approach but also during the continuing conversation. You also demonstrate high social value, social proof and a level of pre selection*. All it requires is a female friend, which I will explain why now.
*Pre selection: The belief that you come pre selected to women. Meaning that if you are seen out with a girl, displaying a frame of comfort and confidence, than girls don’t have to decide if you’re attractive or not, since the girl that you’re with has already proven it.
1. Invite your best girl friend out to a social gathering
She must not be a target, but someone who understands what you’re looking for and is willing to be your “Wingwoman”
2. Have her approach the group for you as you stand back and assess the situation
3. When the time comes, introduce yourself and ask how they all know each other
4. 10-15 seconds after the approach – too soon and it will look planned, too late and the pivot will have dominated the groups attention leaving you stranded. Asking this question will allow you to identify who the sisters, cousins, girlfriends/boyfriends are.
4. Engage with everyone, especially your friend
This approach involves a group of friends, so may be the most common scenario found out and about. This approach doesn’t have any steps or tactics, but one simple theory. This theory is that you are seen as less threatening and more high value if you are in the middle /the leader of your group. This means you are able to MERGE your group with another. Being seen as the introducer enables you to focus on the target while all the obstacles are busy talking to your other people.
Once you have approached and successfully opened, you now have an opportunity to have fun and enjoy the interaction. However, if you are asking yourself now, “well what do I do next?” – I recommend you watch my video on How to Control Every Interaction. If you feel like talking about this in more detail between now and when I release the next phase of an interaction, feel free to email me at email@example.com and we can open up a discussion about it.